Johnstown Castle - part 10

...I know not life as do you or your kin, but regard death my deliverer...

I went down on my knees and observed the petite creature at my disposal, delicate a feature one after another. My heart, one of a well-mannered man, continued to beat in most agonizing fashion, in thrill and ecstasy, while my mind without as much as a care neglected my betrothal as if I had been freed of fetters by the very fact that others had no way of learning of my actions here.
The sun which had at that point reached the uppermost branches of the surrounding forest now cast a warmer and brighter light through the rustling foliage. Flickering spots of gold painted the room and us - myself and Loretta. What the eye lingers on, the heart desires. What the heart desires, the hand seeks. One hand accompanied by a pounding heart and wide-opened eyes, the other - following a brief moment of hesitation - accompanied by mad desire and nothing more.
Loretta didn’t utter a word, yet pulled back to free herself from underneath the bed. I closed the gap between us and restrained her in a warm embrace. I startled her as far as I could tell and she made me unsure about my conclusion of Mr Grogan which I had called foregone maybe too soon. But even if she was no less than a perfect illustration of my theory, I was keen to dwell on the idea that she had been untouched by him, and least there had been other visitors like me, she could be mine entirely.
I slid my hands tight along her sides meanwhile observing how the gray stripes on her dress formed silvery curves as the fabric gathered around her waist.
“No, please!”
Loretta’s voice was uneasy and scarcely audible. As a maid she would have no problem obeying orders I thought. She was young and shy with a bare minimum of self-confidence and also self-awareness as it seemed.
“Hush!”
It silenced her so easily I was surprising - a mark of obedience and inevitable submission founded by helplessness. I let my hands wander slowly across her bosom and thighs. My heart was beating so frantically I was sure that even she could feel it and I knew I couldn’t stop even if my life depended on it. She was mine and that moment was ours. Like a couple in the summer - the sun was getting ever brighter and the once flickering rays turned gradually into a bright and all-consuming hazy cloud of light and dust – we could be in our very own realm of pleasure.
“Lay down, Loretta.”
She didn’t at first, but Loretta’s futile acts of resistance faded in time and the shy maid became, above all, a servant of herself. So even if I had to force her, she placed herself on the bedside and gave me free reign while her forest-green eyes which glimmered in the sunlit dusty room looked at me almost daringly. At one point I could read an expression of sadness, then one of delight, but lastly one of fright just before I received a blow to the head and passed out.

To be continued...