…for the vigorous soul of thine is evenly a symbol of my disgrace…
Miss Loretta with her rolling French r sound – from the very day I arrived she would always show up when there was even a slight possibility of me needing something. For example, right after I had reached the castle a day ago, having barely endured the horrible cart ride suffering from travelling sickness, she appeared from within the beautiful castle in her most-inappropriate dress and gave me medicine. Or later that day when I felt slightly cold in the library, waiting for Mr Grogan’s arrival, she suddenly appeared behind me and suggested I might be in need of a blanket. Mr Grogan later told me that she was well trained and it would be only natural that she sees for my needs - whatever they may be. Yet, however lovely she was, she still seemed too well-learned for her age and thus somehow even creepy. I felt like she was constantly observing me through some secret peep holes behind paintings, for that would explain how she’d always come prepared. Speaking of which… Her extremely short dress, ordered to be worn by her master Mr Grogan himself, no doubt, made me feel like a peeping Tom as well whenever I tried to look at her. I was sure that Mrs Jennifer Grogan, had she still been alive, would definitely not have approved of that. Yet, a man’s a man and one couldn’t really blame him for that after his wife had died a year ago.
“I’m quite alright, yes, thank you Miss.” Talking to Loretta was somehow even elating at that point in time, for we were separated by a door and I didn’t have to be ashamed of looking at her. She herself was also quite shy just like me but she never even looked one in the eye. It almost seemed to me at first that Cornelius, the now old and famous descendant of John Grogan, who so kindly invited me to his castle, was a horrifying perverted monster and that the poor child of - eighteen maybe - had been terribly abused. But I knew that this was nonsense. Truthfully I was rather sickened by the thought that I could come up with something like that in the first place. Loretta continued…
“I am very pleased to hear that, sir. I was just passing here when I heard you were already awake early and thought you might need something. I’m afraid I haven’t quite started breakfast yet but it will be ready for you right away. I hope you hadn’t any problems with the windows. The weather is quite unpleasant today. If you allow me inside mister I can light a fire in the fireplace for you for it is cold and I brought you a new set of candles too.”
Once again she had come like an oracle to solve my problems. She was right about my room being cold. Obviously because she had heard the doors crash open. That there wasn’t a fire lit she could have seen from the absence of smoke escaping through one chimney. The candles, well they must run out at a certain pace. She wasn’t peeping on me, it was all logical.
“Sir?”
“Just a moment.”
I put down my candle and stood up. For some reason I felt the need to look as calm and natural as I could so as to hide the fact that I had been thinking on weird things. So I took a deep breath and tried to align my thoughts on something neutral. I then looked in the mirror once to make sure I looked reasonably well and finally opened the door for the maid. Loretta was standing patiently in the dark corridor with a candle in her hand and although it was just five o’clock in the morning and she must have had thousands of chores to do, her hair was already perfectly done and she looked more vigorous and cheerful than I would ever even in broad daylight.
She entered shyly with her head down saying “Thank you, Mister,” which I really didn’t have a reply for, so I just closed the door and moved back towards the bed. Miss Loretta was once again wearing a short dress, this time of light beige colour with white lace edging, and black stockings held up by black garters. I didn’t want to bother her whilst she was taking care of my room so I sat down on the bed and tried to find something to keep me occupied. However, her constantly solid and well-practiced activity caught my attention and I just gave up and kept following her with my eyes trying to look at her hands and nothing else. Yet, then she would suddenly bow down to clean the fireplace and reveal even more! At which point I stood up again hastily and started looking through papers and letters in my suitcase. Was she teasing me on purpose? Maybe I was right about Mr Grogan?
“Oh, another glass. I hope you didn’t cut yourself, Sir.”
Loretta was kneeling on the floor collecting the scattered glass shards which I had entirely forgotten about. I think I even forgot to reply to her. But then she hit me with an unexpected question.
“Master Cornelius said you saw a ghost woman on your balcony last night, is that true?”
To be continued…
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